Friday, October 30, 2009

The Vampire Bandwagon

The Vampire Bandwagon, by Ryan Mecum

I’ve packed you some blood bags
inside this handkerchief on a stick,
but before you run out that door,
give me a hug and listen close
my gross little vampire haiku.

You climb on up that bandwagon
and bite your fangs in tight
for those wagon wheels are well worn
and the road is all downhill from here.
There’s not much room left
on that rickety wagon,
but you are a slim book
and if you hold tight
you can ride that bandwagon,
find yourself some work,
and send some of that money back home.
Then come back to your daddy
when you’ve made us more financially secure.

Stay in the shade and keep drinking blood.
Smile wide, let them see those fangs
with your creepy feminine mouth
and that tiny trickle of blood
like all the other vampire book covers
and all the other vampire dvd covers
who are all bringing money back home
to their daddies, too.

I know you will feel so tiny
by all those fat vampire books
who have their own bookmarks
and their own clothing lines,
but you are unique.
There will be bumps ahead,
as the wagon hurls through the dark.
Many are sick of vampires by now,
but you mustn't lose hope.
Remind them of the horror, the dark humor, the lust
of a good old fashioned vampire tale.
Try to find some tweenage girls
who take experimental risks with eyeliner.
Let them read you and they will like you
as you suck their Hello Kitty wallets dry.

And when you’ve made your money,
jump off that bandwagon
before it drives off the cliff
that we all knew was coming
and then hobble back home to me,
my gross little vampire haiku.


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